We are two weeks into the new year.? How are your resolutions going? Do you remember what they were?? ?I?ve personally never been a huge fan or practitioner of New Year?s resolution-making.? To me, they come off as unrealistic in the long-term or a blatantly temporary “fix.”? Usually, they seem to include some kind of strict exercise or eating regiment that you believe you can will yourself into permanently and happily adopting. Either you want to be healthy or you don?t. If so, you do the necessary work as part of your normal, regular lifestyle.? Resolutions are easier to keep when they align with your values. ?It’s also scientifically proven that you are much more likely to reach a goal, if you write it down. ?So, don’t just think about something you want, write it down!
For probably the first time ever, I sat down and made a ?resolution? list.? There are actually two lists: short-term and long-term.? One contains the overall objectives to have for my life.? The other includes the aspirations I will work towards this year. I?ll share them with you.? After all, sharing goals is one of the best ways for anyone to hold themselves accountable.
The Resolutions For My Life:
1). ?Don’t run from a challenge.
2). ?Value time.
3). ?Be me.
4). ?Appreciate all of it (good and bad).
My Resolutions For This Year:
1). Give away two additional aviation scholarships
2). Grow the flyGIRL business.
3). Secure a second home.
Each of the year?s goals is clearly measurable.? However, there are things that are equally important to my well-being that are not as easily measured.? I have come to know myself pretty well, especially over the past year or so.? I know what motivates and fulfills me. Do you know what motivates you? Are you interested in motivating yourself? Or, does it seem like just too much work?
Often, we adopt what others tell us is important, or what others think we should strive for.? Those are typically someone else?s desires or may be based on someone else?s individual value system.? It takes effort getting to know yourself in order to reveal your own unique set of values.? In this day and age, that?s challenging.? We are so busy and bombarded with life that we put off taking time to reflect on what makes us tick.? From experience, it seems easier to just let someone else tell us what?s best, whether it?s a family member, a friend, or a celebrity on a popular television series, and go with it!? It?s work and takes trial and error to honestly figure that stuff out.?
Going through a lot of change and trials has forced me to take inventory of myself. It?s been very entertaining and eye-opening. It has allowed me to recognize that the life I was living was not always in alignment with my value system.? This caused me to feel discontent and out-of-sorts.? Find out what your values are and don?t fight them! Identifying these things can change your life for the better.? Everything starts clicking and making sense.? You take charge of your life and feel more satisfied.? Decision-making becomes much easier. You can begin designing the exact life you want.?
What I Learned From Learning?
Learning to fly completely changed my life.? The things that truly brought me pleasure were revealed with each lesson and certification. ?Flying allowed me to live in alignment with my values.? It was the first time I?d experienced a culmination of all things that drove me.? Once my eyes were opened in this way, I knew my life going forward had to seek and meet these needs in order to be content.?
My values are:
I?d say that most pilots have very similar values and that?s why there?s such camaraderie within the aviation community.? I am the girl that couldn?t wait to ride the roller coaster and feel those butterflies! As a child, the realization that not everyone shared that same enthusiasm, was baffling. My sister hates roller coasters!???????I?m a thrill-seeker who loves a little suspense and excitement in all things. ?Feeling all the feelings?(see # 3, PASSION)! Sometimes, risk brings disappointment, and maybe heartache. That part sucks.? However, the positives far outweigh the negatives when you get it right. We must all take risks in life. Some do their best to avoid them, hoping to protect themselves.?
Do You Need To Make A U-Turn?
One of the worst things we can do is not recognize or ignore the fact that some risks or things aren?t working out for us.? We don?t want to give up! We prolong or hold on to things that are no longer serving us in a positive way.? What may have once been good for us may change.? We may put off a ?U-Turn? because we either don?t want to admit we made a mistake or we just keep crossing our fingers that things will somehow magically correct themselves and all will get better one day. ?
There is no shame in recognizing when something is no longer working in your life.? It takes courage. If you don?t speak up, it can actually turn into some horrible resentment, bitterness, or worse. We can respectfully express our struggles with loved ones.? Hopefully, you will find support, understanding, and the chance to deepen a relationship.? You may not. That?s a shame. That?s where the road less traveled comes in! If we?re disconnected from our values (which is essentially, our true selves), we?re miserable and the people around us are miserable.? That won?t change unless we take action. Throughout our lives, we need to force ourselves to reevaluate what?s important to us periodically and not be afraid of making a U-Turn.?
?The new year is a good time to be forward-thinking about who you want to be; but it?s also a great time to look back at what you?re ready to let go of: the wrong partner or job; the narratives we use to justify our setbacks; the versions of ourselves-past, present, future-that no longer make sense.?-Perel
There Are Two Of You.
It is said that there are two people living within us: 1) Who we are; 2) Who we want to be. ?flyGIRL Kelley? is the bravest, most confident, bold, outgoing version of myself.? I?m not always those things. Depending on the day, actually. I strive to be. I?m often insecure.? I?m a prime example of ?fake it ?til you make it.? Allowing this alter ego to exist pushes me out of my comfort zone and enables me to do many things that my introverted self may shy away from or would otherwise choose to avoid.? It has broadened my horizons and given me wings (pun intended), in a way.? Some people may think it?s being fake.? It?s not fake.? There are parts of me that genuinely are brave, confident, outgoing, etc.? What it?s allowed me is the ability to relate to all kinds of personality types and to express myself and grow in many ways. ?
Your true confidantes and friends are usually revealed when you stretch yourself and display all versions of yourself.? People either love it or can?t deal. We all want to belong and be fully known. The satisfaction of being surrounded by people who not only encourage all facets of your personality to emerge, but embrace them, and are often entertained by them.??That is the most wonderful, secure feeling anyone could ever hope for. There is nothing wrong with stepping outside of your comfort zone to explore all parts of yourself. We all have these hidden facets we want to safely unveil.? It?s a shame when others can?t enjoy all the parts of you and your desire to explore.
Keep in mind that you need to allow your friends to do the same. Encourage them!! Let them know they?re safe with you. I come up with some crazy (usually very silly) ideas (this is easier for me in a room full of mostly strangers that I?ll never see again, by the way).? It?s interesting to see how my friends respond.? Do I see an agreeable crooked smirk emerging?? ?Yes!!? Those are my people. Fighting stagnancy is of utmost importance!? Find the right people to surround yourself with that encourage growth, silliness, and exploration. If you know what you?re looking for, you will be led to the right people.? It may require a U-Turn. ?
?The Trap of Resolutions
One of my objections to resolutions is that they can make you feel like a failure if you don?t keep them.? Maybe they?re really not right for you.? Recognizing that and making a U-Turn is a good thing.? Don?t measure yourself based on whether you kept a resolution or not.? Give yourself permission to transform and develop in all ways. It?s okay if you don?t make any resolutions at all! Maybe your resolution should just simply be ?I resolve to let myself evolve.??